Calmerry Journey #1: “Therapy Helped Me Realize Social Anxiety Doesn’t Make Me Weak or Broken”

Social anxiety can make everyday situations feel overwhelming and scary. Things like going to parties, giving presentations, or even just chatting with friends can be really tough. 

At Calmerry, we get how much courage it takes to reach out for help. We feel really lucky to have been able to support our clients as they overcome their social anxiety and build lives they love.

This is Sarah, who learned to cope with social anxiety through acceptance

“Growing up, I was always the quiet, introspective girl. I can’t say that I struggled to make friends – vice versa, I’m always surrounded by cool people, my personal trusted circle. Most people usually think I’m an extravert – which is actually a rush of adrenaline I experience in social situations.

Yes, one can have social phobia and be very social, energetic, fun, a leader! But birthday parties, school presentations, job interviews, even just raising my hand in class always filled me with dread. I deliberately skipped dozens of parties and meetings in my life because the fear of social anxiety is paralyzing and unpleasant, it makes you want to stay in your cozy, safe space.

Ironically, my career as a project manager is all about working with people. Leading meetings, facilitating discussions, managing conflicts, negotiating with upper management – it all requires the very social skills that terrified me. 

I felt like an impostor. I was constantly on edge that someone would see through my professional mask and realize how anxious I really was. This was based on real awkward moments when anxiety made me freeze and run out of breath out of nowhere, for no reason, just in the middle of my speeches.

And after yet another anxiety attack in the middle of a big presentation, I knew I needed help. It was the period of the new career stage, and social phobia was just blocking my growth and full potential. That’s when I found my therapist through Calmerry, about 7 months ago. 

We traveled to my deep past, trying to understand when and why it happened, what social situations and traumas triggered my constant alert. It was a huge multilayered combo that created a tangled web of negative thoughts and beliefs that fueled my anxiety.

Through therapy, I began to understand that my worth isn’t defined by others’ judgments. 

People with social anxiety experience an additional layer of anxiety, feeling anxious about their anxiety, as it feels awkward when others witness those moments. In therapy, I learned to be okay with this and accept this part of me, which helps me bounce back much faster. Therapy helped me realize that my social anxiety doesn’t make me weak or broken. It’s a part of me, but it doesn’t define me.

Most importantly, this self-acceptance of my vulnerability gave me a powerful tool to cope with anxiety attacks – to allow myself to pause. One minute to breathe, just a few seconds during a meeting when I say, “One moment, please,” or going out of a loud party to take time for myself when I feel it. I learned to be okay with this part of my life but no longer let it control or define me.

My therapist also taught me how to actually use deep breathing and realistic self-talk to manage anxious moments. Slowly but surely, I started venturing outside my comfort zone when I wanted to and accepting that discomfort is a normal part of growth.

Therapy wasn’t a magic wand that made my social anxiety disappear overnight. Now see that it doesn’t work this way. But it gave me tools to break free from my anxiety cage.

I still get nervous before presentations or difficult conversations, but now I have an inner voice reminding me that I’m capable and resilient. And I can focus on and enjoy many more charismatic sides of my personality! I no longer view myself as just a “ball full of anxiety.”

I still have a ways to go, but I’m excited for the journey ahead for the first time and so proud of myself.”

Don’t let social anxiety control your life any longer

At Calmerry, we understand the courage it takes to seek help for social anxiety. The stories like Sarah’s are a testament to the transformative power of therapy for social anxiety and the resilience of the human spirit. 

On our platform, you get a safe, supportive space to explore your challenges and work toward your goals. 

Our trained mental health professionals have the experience and expertise to help you navigate your unique journey toward healing and personal growth. With their guidance and your dedication, you can learn to manage your anxiety, build self-confidence, and embrace your authentic self. 

Start your journey today toward a more fulfilling life. Start with a 10-minute questionnaire – and get matched with your therapist within 1 hour.