What Makes a Man Fall in Love With a Woman?

Falling in love is a powerful and mysterious experience, but it turns out that a lot happens behind the scenes in the male brain. Understanding how a man falls in love with a woman and how their brains respond sheds light on how they form a strong emotional connection.

Interestingly, the majority of men and women fall in love differently.

In this article, we will explore the biological and psychological aspects of falling in love, the various stages of love in men, the differences between males and females and why love has such a powerful effect.

Stages of a man falling in love

Before exploring how to trigger dopamine in a man psychology, let’s focus on the three stages of romantic love, according to biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D.

Lust (sex drive)

Lust is the initial stage driven primarily by testosterone in men.

It’s a temporary feeling driven by the desire for sexual gratification, helping one find potential partners.

It’s rooted in an evolutionary need to reproduce, common in all species.

You could lust for someone you’re in love with, but you could also lust and have sex with someone you don’t love.

Attraction (romantic love)

During this stage, lasting 6 months to 2 years, you focus on one person and their physical appearance. You obsessively think about them and crave their company, feeling a surge of extra energy and excitement. 

These feelings are caused by norepinephrine, dopamine, and serotonin.

Scientists compare this stage to addiction as it activates the brain’s reward center, affecting behavior and emotions. [1] Earp, B. D., Wudarczyk, O. A., Foddy, B., & Savulescu, J. (2017). Addicted to Love: What is love addiction and when should it be treated? Philosophy, Psychiatry & Psychology, 24(1), 77–92. https://doi.org/10.1353/ppp.2017.0011

Attachment (long-term love)

This stage is key to long-term relationships. It’s a “calmer” form of love, affecting us differently than the attraction stage.

When two people have been together for approximately four years in a relationship, their dopamine levels decrease, and the attraction is no longer there. Dopamine is then substituted by oxytocin and vasopressin in men, giving one the urge to be with and take care of their partner.

Attachment enables partners to remain together long enough to raise children, nurture affection towards each other, and feel safe and content.

What makes a man fall in love with women: 5 love hormones in males

Certain neurotransmitters and hormones need to build up over time before a man falls deeply in love.

Here are 5 key hormones that make every man feel deeply in love:

Dopamine 

Also known as the “feel-good” hormone, dopamine is released from the brain when a man is pleased or excited, for instance, when seeing a beautiful lady. It brings about happiness and increases his desire to spend more time in the company of that particular individual.

Oxytocin in men

Known as the “bonding” hormone, oxytocin is released during physical touch, such as hugging, kissing, or sex. It builds trust and emotional closeness, helping a man feel strongly connected to his partner.

Testosterone 

This hormone is linked to physical attraction. It drives sexual interest and makes a man more confident in pursuing romance.

Serotonin 

Serotonin helps regulate mood and gives feelings of happiness and well-being. Serotonin levels also rise when a man is seeking love, which makes him feel at ease and happy in the relationship.

Vasopressin 

Vasopressin is a love hormone in males linked to commitment and protective behavior. Knowing how to trigger vasopressin in a man can reinforce loyalty and care in a relationship.

What makes men bond?

When men bond with women, the connection often forms through a mix of emotional and physical closeness. Unlike bonding with other men through different activities, bonding with women usually involves more communication and emotional sharing.

For many men in love, feeling understood and appreciated by a woman is critical to forming a strong bond. They can share their ideas, hopes, and fears in ways they may not do with other people.

This bond or rapport is developed through spending time with the person, talking, and giving small gestures of care and support.

Men also bond with women through physical affection—whether it’s holding hands, hugging, or simply being close. Research also proves that physical contact reduces loneliness. [2] Tejada, A. H., Dunbar, R. I. M., & Montero, M. (2020). Physical contact and loneliness: Being touched reduces perceptions of loneliness. Adaptive Human Behavior and Physiology, 6(3), 292–306. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40750-020-00138-0

Spending time together is important, but it’s the quality of that time that really matters. Whether laughing together, supporting each other during tough times, or just enjoying each other’s company, these moments create a deep sense of closeness.

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Over time, this bond grows stronger, making the loving relationship more meaningful and enduring.

Does sex make him fall in love faster?

A common misconception is that men tend to fall in love in the bedroom. Although sex can contribute to making men fall in love quickly, it’s not the only factor. 

In her book “Men Chase, Women Choose,” Dawn Maslar mentions that sex can trigger the release of hormones like oxytocin in men, which helps build trust and emotional connection. However, while sex can deepen these feelings, it doesn’t necessarily cause a man to fall in love with someone.

The author explains that falling in love involves emotional connection, shared experiences, and mutual respect.

Sex can strengthen the bond, but true, lasting love also relies on the emotional and mental connection that develops over time through spending time together.

The Coolidge effect

The Coolidge effect can occur when sex happens quickly.

The Coolidge effect is a biological phenomenon observed in animals. It occurs when males progressively lose interest in mating with the same female yet have heightened sexual interest in new females.

Maslar explains that when a real man starts dating, dopamine and vasopressin levels rise. But if they satiate sexually too quickly, they drop back down. 

Therefore, a man may lose interest, pursue other women, and not be around long enough to fall madly in love.

However, it’s also important to note that this isn’t always the case, and men can still fall in love with women they have sex with early in the relationship.

Still, couples must be careful not to confuse the exhilarating feeling of lust for love to avoid trouble later on.

Does sex bond a man to a woman?

Sex is another way for a man to be closely bonded to a woman. However, it is not the only factor contributing to forming a close relationship. To many men, sex is not only physical affection but a way of bonding with a partner and strengthening the affection that exists between two people.

For instance, oxytocin, released during and after sex, increases feelings of attachment and trust, therefore enhancing the bond.

Although sex strengthens a couple’s attachment, the emotional connection, trust, and mutual respect in the relationship truly solidify it. 

While sex by itself does not foster closeness, when practiced within the context of an emotional relationship, it has the potential to create a bond that may cause the couple to become even closer than before, enhancing the sense of intimacy within the couple.

Why commitment could be the key to love for men?

Research shows that men in committed romantic relationships have 21% lower testosterone than men who are not. [3] Burnham, T., Chapman, J., Gray, P., McIntyre, M., Lipson, S., & Ellison, P. (2003). Men in committed, romantic relationships have lower testosterone. Hormones and Behavior, 44(2), 119–122. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0018-506x(03)00125-9

When a man commits, testosterone no longer blocks oxytocin, helping them fall in love and develop a long-term bond.

The study also showed that marriage isn’t a defining factor, as both married and unmarried men can be in committed relationships and experience lower testosterone.

When a man’s testosterone drops after committing to someone, it doesn’t mean they will experience diminished sex drive. However, they should lose interest in pursuing sex from other women.

6 love tips for men and couples to make it work

So, we’ve talked about what happens to a man when they fall in love and the chemical processes involved, but what practical advice can we take from it?

Well, here are six tips for men and couples in the early love stage:

Be prepared for changes in your body

When you fall in love, your brain releases chemicals that alter everything from your sleeping habits to your appetite. You might find yourself wanting to spend more time with your partner or feeling more “needy” and dependent.

Be self-aware of your experiences

If a man becomes addicted to their partner, this could indicate they’re at the romantic love stage. Consider abstaining from sex for a while to see if your relationship is built on more than lust.

As we mentioned above, if a man loses interest in others and finds his partner most desirable, it’s a sign of interest in a long-term relationship..

Be patient

Love requires patience; therefore, one should not rush into making any decision without first considering its implications. Giving both you and your potential partner time will help get to know each other and avoid jumping into a relationship that might not be healthy for you.

Communicate openly and honestly

An open line of communication is essential in any relationship but vital in new relationships. Make sure your needs are aligned by communicating your needs openly.

Seek professional help if needed

If you find yourself struggling to cope with the changes brought on by falling in love, don’t hesitate to reach out for help from a therapist. They can support you during this potentially challenging time and help you explore your emotional and physical experiences.

Final thoughts

Understanding how love affects the brain and body won’t make it less intense or memorable. It might help you avoid unworkable relationships, heartbreak, and pitfalls while helping you better know yourself.

If you are still unsure whether you are in love, whether your partner loves you back, or if you have any other relationship problems, feel free to consult with our therapists at Calmerry.

Sometimes, it may be hard to adapt and understand how healthy relationships should be constructed. Online counseling is a great way to receive the much-needed emotional support.