How a Man’s Brain Works When He Falls in Love

How a Man Brain Works When He Falls in Love
October 22, 2020

Key Takeaways:

  • Men fall in love after going through several stages.
  • When men are in love, they affirm it verbally and through actions.
  • Talking to a counselor can help deal with confusion and uncertainty about a man’s feelings for you.

Men and women process emotions differently. Societal norms have, in part, dictated how the two genders deal with attraction, infatuation, and love. While women seem more purposeful when falling in love, men seem to prioritize physical connection over an emotional one.

How do men fall in love? Unlike women who know right away, men take their time. For them, falling in love is more of a marathon than a sprint. Therefore, they experience several emotions from the time they meet a woman until they fall for her.

Understanding the psychology of the male brain in love brings clarity. You will understand why men act the way they do before committing to a relationship. You will also find out how to make a man fall for you fast.

It is important to note that this analysis of how men fall in love is a generalization. Some men might not go through each stage listed below. Others may not go through any stage at all. This article describes the situation for many, but not all, men.

Stage 1 – Physical Attraction

Men are visual creatures. They notice a woman’s physique before anything else. Different men are attracted to different physical features. A woman’s legs, eyes, curves, demeanor, and smile are all points of attraction.

When it comes to physical attraction, it is never about the whole package. It is always about the woman’s special appeal. In some cases, a man may notice small things about the way a woman behaves. These small things come together to create a special appeal that the man cannot resist.

Several factors determine whether a relationship goes past the physical attraction phase. At times, men decide to act purely on physical attraction. It results in a sexual encounter that can be fulfilling for both parties, or not.

Whatever the case, once a man refuses to explore beyond physical attraction, the process of falling in love ends. However, if he does explore further, he gets to the second phase.

Stage 2 – The Search

Men often find several women physically attractive at the same time. All human beings have a primal instinct to reproduce. For men, this instinct is stronger. Therefore, they can be attracted to multiple women at the same time.

What a man chooses to do with the attraction depends on his beliefs and value system. Some men seek out several women who they find attractive. Such men are womanizers. Others have a one-track mind that seeks out one potential mate.

During the exploration stage, men check to see which of the attractive women they know will respond to their advances. When a woman shows interest, the man decides to concentrate on her. He directs his time and energy to pursue her.

During this stage, men are not in love yet. They are simply casting a net and hoping to catch a fish or two. Rejection during this phase is not a big deal; he swiftly moves to the next option. There may be a few exceptions to this rule, but generally, most men think this way.

Stage 3 – The Pursuit

The man decides to direct his attention to one woman. He wants her to acknowledge him. His message is clear. I like you, and I want you to like me too. At this point, a lot of flirting takes place.

Some men love the chase more than all other stages of falling in love. It can be exciting and addictive for men to pursue a woman. Perfecting their skills over time, they can easily get a woman to give in to their advances.

Stage 4 – Courtship

By this time, the woman is falling in love. She has given in to the man’s advances and is ready to commit. On the other hand, the man is doing everything he can to make a good impression. More than anything, he wants to make you happy and get your undivided attention.

At this stage, a man will buy flowers, plan sweet surprises, and buy gifts. He will do his best to make you fall for him. He has not had time to consider his feelings yet; his focus is solely on you.

During courtship, both parties get to know more about each other. They discover their emotional and sexual preferences. They learn what makes them happy. For most couples, courtship is an exciting time of discovery.

Stage 5 – The Fear of Better Options

Despite spending a decent amount of time on impressing a woman, most men do not fall in love during courtship. All courtship does is reassure him that you accept his advances and are committed to him. Suddenly he experiences what is known as the fear of better options.

This fear arises because he has not been himself so far. The undivided attention, flowers, romantic dates, and gifts you have received have been a part of his plan to win you over. He has been on his best behavior, but that may not be his true character.

More likely, the fear is caused by him seeing past the initial physical attraction. Now that he has conquered your heart, he is wondering whether you are right for him. It sounds callous, but it is how men are wired. They tend to consider falling in love after the woman has shown her true feelings.

At this stage, he starts wondering whether a real relationship can come out of it. He starts asking himself some tough questions. Do I want to commit to her? Will I be happy? Is there a better woman for me out there?

Some men may dismiss a relationship at this stage for flimsy reasons. Others realize that they have serious feelings and choose to make the relationship work. There is no predicting which way a man’s heart will go at this point. Women also face the same dilemma; the only difference is that theirs comes during the early stages.

Stage 6 – Falling in Love

Men fall in love after rationalizing and thinking through every stage. When they have thought about it and gotten over the fear of better options, they decide to take the plunge. Some men will say the words, “I love you”, and others will affirm their commitment through actions.

The next few months after this stage are the happiest in most relationships. Men take the long road to love, but they get there eventually. To make a man fall in love with you fast, all you have to do is act contrary to expectations. Do not give in to all his charms; present a challenge that keeps him interested.

Frequently Asked Questions

Women are often curious about how men feel. They want to know how to tell if a man has feelings for them. We provide answers to some common questions below.

Do Men Really Fall in Love?

Yes, men fall in love. It takes most men quite some time to fall in love, but they get there eventually. It might be hard for them to say it aloud, but their actions will affirm their deep feelings.

What Makes a Man Fall Deeply in Love with a Woman?

Men fall in love because they have gotten over their fear of better options and decided to devote themselves. Because this decision comes after logical thinking and rationalization, most men fall in love after confirming that the woman is fully committed.

How Does a Man Act When He Is Falling in Love?

There are several signs that a man is falling for you. Some of the most common ones are:

  • Verbal affirmation using phrases such as “I like you”, “I love you” etc.;
  • Spending quality time with you;
  • Territorial behavior, i.e. letting other men know that he likes you;
  • Introducing you to his close circle;
  • Making plans for the future;
  • Making compromises;
  • Being vulnerable around you.

How Do You Test a Guy to See if He Really Loves You?

Seeing the signs of love are enough proof that a man loves you. However, if you need reassurance, you should ask him directly. Reaffirmation of love should frequently happen in a relationship. If you feel that you need to test him, something might be amiss.

Relationship Counseling

Are you getting frustrated by your love life? Perhaps you are wondering how to get a man to fall for you. Maybe your frustration is caused by rejection at different stages of the courtship process. Regardless of why you feel the way you do, talking to a relationship counselor might help.

On our website, we have experienced counselors who can help you navigate relationship problems. They listen keenly and validate your emotions. They offer support through difficult moments. Because they have worked with many people before, they can guide you to find the best solution for your problems.

Our service is offered online. It allows you to access professional counseling remotely. You do not have to commute and wait in line before seeing a therapist. Our experts are a text or phone call away. If you wish, you can get therapy via video call.

Because we know you might need us at any time, we have support agents online 24/7. They are always ready to help you get someone to talk to. We match you to someone familiar with what you are going through.

Why should you struggle with the confusion and doubts in a relationship? To get clarity, sign up for a counseling session today. Improve yourself by working with a therapist who knows the hallmarks of a healthy relationship.

Kate Skurat

Kate Skurat

Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Washington, United States

Kate has a B.S. in Psychology and M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University and has worked in healthcare since 2017. She primarily treated depression, anxiety, eating disorders, trauma, and grief, as well as identity, relationship and adjustment issues. Her clinical experience has focused on individual and group counseling, emergency counseling and outreach. Read more.

Advice For Good Mental Health

Find advice and support from mental health professionals for common problems. Learn about self-help strategies that can help improve your mental well-being. Tips for good mental health from Calmerry.

Can People Change? The Big Question

Can People Change? The Big Question

Have you had unpleasant experiences where people promised to change for the better but ended up disappointing? Once the trust and expectations are failed, it is inevitable for one to question the ability of an individual to change. Well, people can change, and this...

Analyzing Your Character Using Quizzes

Analyzing Your Character Using Quizzes

Personality tests have been offered for decades, and on the internet, you can access a few decent quizzes at any time. These tests are quite important as they will allow you to self-reflect. After completing these tests, you will know yourself as a unique individual...

Influence of Social Pressures on Being Ourselves

Influence of Social Pressures on Being Ourselves

As social human beings, we follow social norms. They dictate how we interact with each other. We are taught social norms as children, and we grow up with them. It states the unwritten rules of how we behave. Conforming to these social norms makes us accepted in our...

Start your therapy journey today

88% found Calmerry to be as effective or more effective than traditional therapy.
95% found it to be more convenient than traditional therapy.

Contact Form

If you need any assistance, please fill out the form below and we’d be happy to help!